unholy peridot
the nature of the beast
is green as the peridot in my
ring or perhaps darker
than that; “jealousy is an ugly
thing” you told me, dismissive of
it as if that could stave the
creature away it claws into me
arrows of desire and vehemence for
the one that was there before me i wonder
if you think about her more than me,
this creature smells of a gas spill
it rolls down me greasy rivers of self disgust
paints me an oil-soaked bird even the
soap won’t wash away the horror of what has
devoured me once and could just easily
befall me for a second time; it sounds like
nails on a chalkboard and tastes of salt brine rust
pleasurable at first until it erodes into its
aftertaste then it feels worse than the finger of death
entombing you to solitude in a womb of earth oblivion
darker than the absence of any heaven rescinded light on
nighttime grass — bury the memory of her in some
distant jar of earth, and my hatchet will be thrust into the
closet forgotten forever in some secret sea until someone else
slips into the hourglass of us, trying to divide.
yellow dance
i burn with lust
canary yellow
as the palest flames
yet all consuming
as a house-fire
you make me yearn
for more always more
of you beneath the
heavens of our love haloed
by your romance your
wounds are the only scars
i want; i only desire for
you to impale me with your
blade — let joy remember my
face for without your touch
upon my body without your loins
dancing a harmony with mine
i feel meaningless and empty
give me your purport and meaning
string your pearls around my throat
remind me what it’s like to be
human so i can recall exactly how
i hated myself all those years ago and
how i’ll always hate myself unless
you’re here to fill the voids within me
twisting my yellow into green
an envy others can be envious of.
